Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Best Love Story of All Time

Forget Rhett and Scarlett, Elizabeth and Mr Darcy or even Romeo and Juliet.
My favourite love story is better - shorter & sweeter.
When I was young it made me feel giddy and filled me with a desire to be in love. I was fascinated at how two such total opposites could be in love and go off to live happily ever after. Okay - the story doesn't say 'and they lived happily every after', but I was certainly left with the impression that they did. Not happily ever after in a starry-eyed-forever kind of way, but in a warm companionship kind of way, being so opposite and all.
It made me feel that there were such great possibilities for love.

It was also made me want to be the owner of a runcible spoon (it sounded so exotic) and dance by the light of the moon...

The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are, you are, you are,
What a beautiful Pussy you are."
Pussy said to the Owl "You elegant fowl,
How charmingly sweet you sing.
O let us be married, too long we have tarried;
But what shall we do for a ring?"
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows,
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose, his nose, his nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.
"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?"
Said the Piggy, "I will"
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon.
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand.
They danced by the light of the moon, the moon, the moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Caning vs. Canning, Porn vs. Pawn

I have taken an interest to canning.
No one can be more suprised by this than me.
Me - who when I met Mr Husband proudly announced that I could defrost a fridge and cook sausage. And the sausage part was open to debate.
Fast forward 20 years & some bad meals in between, and I'm looking for ideas on canning and preserving. I have even thought of making jam.
So I did what most people would do - I Googled Canning and Preserving in Britain. I added the 'in Britain' bit because on other searches Google had offered me many American versions and I really can't be bothered with trying to convert the measuring units.
This time the first thing Googled spat out was British Canning Society. Ah, excellent. A whole society dedicated to canning and preserving Britain.
Click on the link... Oh. This is the British Caning Society. Who knew? I don't even know what to think of that, really.
A caning society! Whatever for?
I felt guilty even looking at the sight - like I had accidentally stumbled across a porn sight.
I think you have to join to be able to have a real look around and be part of the forum, but no thanks... I don't know why I feel so disturbed by this. But I do. It doesn't sit well with me. I start thinking of all those poor children that got beaten to sticky pulps in horrid schools.

Okay - lets move on.

Porn vs. Pawn

A conversation that took place between my mother and sister years ago when my brother's girlfriend at the time finally found a job in the small town they were living.

- Sasha has a job.
- Oh, that's fantastic! Where?
- In a pawn shop.
- A porn shop?
- There's nothing wrong with working in a pawn shop. It's a job, after all.
- But what does her father have to say about this?
- I don't know, but I'm sure he's pleased that she has a job.
- But in a porn shop?
- Why are you being so snobbish about a pawn shop? It's not like we've never bought anything there...

I think that's when the penny dropped, because we all know that my mother is not the type to frequent a porn shop, but a very keen visitor at pawn shops.

Oh, how misunderstandings can start.

I'm off to go and look for proper canning and preserving techniques now.
If you have any tips, I would be keen to hear. Thank you.